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Author Topic: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies  (Read 1676 times)

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natty

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Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« on: April 11, 2008, 04:28:49 PM »

-- x-posted from an e-mail list

NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER" -

Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,

Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea,

Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.

First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last!

My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.

Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;

He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day!

And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.

If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!

Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength;

He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.

So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.

Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!

He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.

The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.

When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes.

And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;

When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.

Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about;

And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out!

We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,

He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.

So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:

Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash;

And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.

If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;

Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before!

The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,

He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.

Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;

You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!


So, please remember:

!NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!
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Blwe_torch

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Re: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2008, 04:35:59 PM »

Excellent! ::cheers:: :notworthy:
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LosingNow

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Re: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2008, 04:43:47 PM »

BRILLLIANT!!!!

--
"Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.".. just an inch, isnt that still far from the promised land ;D ;D
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kingcool1432

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Re: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2008, 04:46:02 PM »

Smashing :D :D :D
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Blwe_torch

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Re: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2008, 04:48:11 PM »

BRILLLIANT!!!!

--
"Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.".. just an inch, isnt that still far from the promised land ;D ;D


'Promised land'?
Debatable issue. :)
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LosingNow

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Re: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2008, 05:00:02 PM »

BRILLLIANT!!!!

--
"Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.".. just an inch, isnt that still far from the promised land ;D ;D


'Promised land'?
Debatable issue. :)
OK.. I guess promises are tough to keep ;D
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Blwe_torch

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Re: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2008, 05:04:37 PM »

BRILLLIANT!!!!

--
"Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.".. just an inch, isnt that still far from the promised land ;D ;D


'Promised land'?
Debatable issue. :)
OK.. I guess promises are tough to keep ;D

It all boils down to how many promises one can extract...........  :evil4:
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Blwe_torch

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Re: Never Trust a Cricketer, Ladies
« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2008, 05:06:33 PM »

Hope my wife doesn't see this! :D
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